On gratitude and new shoes and home

I am so looking forward to sharing some of my favorite things with you. I’ve been called eclectic and that’s probably a fair description. That undoubtedly means that I will share all kinds of different things here. 

My bestie called me on this blog post after reading it. She said it was "pretty" but didn't mention any of the challenges that beset me during this trip. She was right (she usually is when she does that best friend thing) so I decided to edit the post to better explain why I was so grateful to get home. 

I was struck by intense gratitude this weekend. I found myself repeatedly hugging it close to my heart. It reminded me again of the sheer power of gratitude to alter your life and behavior. 

I flew into Indianapolis last week to teach a class.This particular trip presented me with so many challenges! I have traveled quite a bit and not once have I had to deal with quite as many glitches as I had this time. I had been taking prednisone for poison ivy for six days before I flew out. If you've ever been on pred then you know you get almost no sleep for days on end and then your brain is operating on fumes by the end of the sixth day. I traveled to Indy on the infamous DAY SIX. By the time I got to the Kansas City Airport I had managed to forget to check in, left the PIN for my work credit card at home so had almost no cash for the trip and discovered I had left my phone in the car. I called my husband's phone and my forgotten phone repeatedly for about ten minutes on a borrowed CNBC store clerk's phone (THANK YOU!) but he didn't answer either phone. I was pretty frustrated by the time I hit security. I was worried I'd need that phone, especially in a strange city, and that I'd be late to my presentation since it's also my alarm. As I waited to board the plane (boarding # C-11 so I had awhile) it dawned on me that I had brought my iPad which took care of my alarm concerns. I was able to email my friend to ask her to let my husband know about the forgotten phone and to check his email. I'd even realized that I was really mad at myself for not doing everything "right" (yes, I am a recovering perfectionist).

The approach to Indy was beautiful as I peered out the window from the middle seat. You could see for miles as we flew into the city and I was struck by the sheer flatness of the landscape. I could easily imagine the glaciers creeping across the land. 

As I worked my way towards the baggage claim I suddenly realized I had forgotten to pack my work shoes to wear for the presentation. I had a pair of ummm...shall we say "less than professional" high top tennis shoes in dull white on my feet but they were not going to cut it on the presentation floor. I managed to locate ground transportation and figured out timing as I waited for the shuttle to arrive. I was dropped off at the wrong hotel and had to backtrack to find the right place but finally made it to my room. Things were still not going according to plan. I sent out some more "I made it emails" before trying to find somewhere to eat lunch, gain a map of the area, figure out how to juggle last minute practice and prep and acquire some shoes to wear the next day. I had never been to Indy so I decided to go downtown to find food and look for shoes first then do my final prep. I did take the opportunity to look around as I hiked (and hiked). Monument Circle is beautiful! The State Soldiers and Sailors Monument is located right in the heart of the city and is lovely. Here’s a picture:

 "Soldiers and Sailors Monument Indianapolis” by Daniel Schwen – Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Soldiers_and_Sailors_Monument_Indianapolis.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Soldiers_and_Sailors_Monument_Indianapolis.jpg

As I hiked around I suddenly heard myself repeatedly saying something like "You are so screwed. You are not going to be able to find any shoes to fit your weird feet...." I actually slowed down when I heard what was going through my mind and told myself: "Of COURSE you will find shoes. They will fit and be nice and you will do great. They will appear (along with food)." That, my friends, is a huge deal! To hear that nasty-tape in my head and counter it with what I know to be true (the Universe provides all I need) in the midst of a not-so-good day was pretty awesome. And even better, it didn't feel awesome. It just felt normal and right. Pretty darn cool. 

I was proud to make it back to the hotel in one piece, having located both food and shoes. I practiced and got to the office early the next day (despite the taxi driver not getting there nearly on time). The presentation went well and I only forgot a couple of things.

There are lots of beautiful old buildings around like the Scottish Rite Temple:

“Indianapolis Scottish Rite Cathedral”. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Indianapolis_Scottish_Rite_Cathedral.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Indianapolis_Scottish_Rite_Cathedral.jpg

There’s even a canal that was originally supposed to connect the Erie Canal with the Ohio River. The Canal Walk was down below my hotel window (although I had no idea what it was until later). 

"IN Central Canal Marker" by Original uploader was Bedford at en.wikipedia - Transferred from en.wikipedia; transferred to Commons by User:Xnatedawgx using CommonsHelper.. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:IN_Central_Canal_Marker.JPG#mediaviewer/File:IN_Central_Canal_Marker.JPG

I noticed my brain was still fried from lack of sleep by the end of the day so I asked a guard for directions back to the hotel. He couldn't read the map either so I started off to my hotel going exactly the wrong way. Indy has a lot of activity and they hosted the Black Expo on Friday night with some good music. I got to listen to it as I walked first one direction then another then another. I ended up walking A LOT all while carrying about 200 lbs of weight on my shoulder (computer, notebook for presentation, purse). I managed to find my way back to my hotel with only a blister on my shoulder and a bruised toe from too much walking in my new shoes. I had stopped to get dinner as I worked my way back to the hotel but I really didn't feel well enough to eat so I read a little then fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and packed then couldn't get back to sleep. I remember 1:30 am ticking past with my alarm set for 4:30 am to catch the shuttle. I did manage to get myself to the airport and on the plane to get home. Hallelujah. 

As pretty and interesting as Indy was and as much as I love to teach, I was so ready to come home this time around. It was the first time I had ever felt this glad to be home. Home meant seeing my husband’s face in the airport, the smell and feel of the air in my back yard (ah, that moist warm Missouri air) and a boisterous multiple doggie welcome at my back door. I felt like getting down and kissing the ground I was so glad to get home but I just kissed my husband and the dogs and cats and felt embraced by all that I love. How precious is that?

I figure that there were a couple of turning points in this trip that made it a whole lot better than it could have been. 

1. Taking responsibility for my own mistakes and trip quality before I boarded the plane rather than blaming everyone else. 
2. Hearing and counteracting the yammering inner critic as I searched for food and shoes. 

I think I am learning....

Traveling is usually fun but this trip really wasn't. I guess I'm getting a little old and achy. Still, it was a good lesson in staying centered despite medicine-induced fatigue  - and I really did like Indianapolis! 

I am increasingly appreciative of home and all that means.   My gratitude list definitely had home at the top today. 

Until next time, my friends ~ 

Stephanie SkyeAnn